Congrats to Steve Nash on His Enshrinement Into My Sexual Awakening Hall of Fame
Friday night, Steve Nash entered the Basketball Hall of Fame in Massachusetts. Which is nice, but what took them so long? He’d already made the Lareign Ward Sexual Awakening Hall of Fame.
He was the first athlete to make me horny in confusing ways, but far from the last. Last week, while texting a friend about the NFL, I mentioned that I would definitely bang Nick Foles, even though he probably thinks Plan B is the same thing as abortion.
I’d like to say I began watching the Mavericks in high school because I come from a basketball family. I’d like to say my mom played basketball, and so did I, and we hold a deep reverence for the sport.
My mom did play basketball in Oklahoma in the 70s, when the girls’ squad played a half-court game to avoid bruising their ovaries and rendering them un-marriageable (even though a good chunk of the squad was already married). I’ve seen the photo the local paper took after she was named the county’s Guard of the Year.
And me? At 5–9, I’m an inch taller than my mom. I have done exactly nothing with that height. I take that back; there was one time in the grocery store when I got some water bottles off the top shelf for a pregnant woman.
